Stress and Anger Management
SEVEN STEPS TO ANGER CONTROL
- Start with your upset feelings. Identify them. Use them as stop signs. Your upset feelings are signs that you are telling yourself upsetting things. You may have to become a better observer of your feelings. This means getting in touch with your feelings.
- Counteract your upsetting thoughts with a positive self-message; put the brakes on your feelings. Tell yourself, “Slow down, easy does it. Don’t make yourself upset.
- Identify the upsetting thoughts that are making you angry about the situation. What are you trying to control? Question your upsetting thoughts. Ask yourself “Why must I get my way?” And then answer your questions.
- Clarify the situation, ask yourself, “What is really going on in the situation?” You can then feel disappointed with the situation but not enraged at the people who are creating it.
- Set some realistic goals for yourself in regard to the problem situation. Ask yourself, “What helpful thing can I do about the situation?” Be specific and concrete. “What about the situation can I change (my behavior), and what will I have to live with (others’ behavior)?”
- List the constructive options you have to reach your goals. Ask yourself, “What constructive actions can I take to reach my goals?”
- Choose a constructive option to reach your goal and act on it. The end result of the ABC process is POSITIVE ACTION on your part.